


Lunch Romaince

by talesofsuspense



Series: Happy Steve 2018 [2]
Category: Avengers Academy (Video Game), Marvel
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Established Relationship, Fluff, Idiots in Love, M/M, Petty Arguments, Romaine lettuce
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-27 14:04:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16703842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talesofsuspense/pseuds/talesofsuspense
Summary: Steve and Tony meet up for their lunch date.





	Lunch Romaince

**Author's Note:**

> i'm using this as my second fill for happy steve bingo: cafeteria food.
> 
> inspired by the recent e. coli outbreak in romaine lettuce throughout the u.s. & canada.
> 
> this started out entirely as a joke and now it ended up at over 1k words. i blame all my stevetony shitpost friends on twitter.
> 
> this is dedicated to emilia and laine, who both have eaten romaine lettuce since the outbreak started.

Steve was waiting at their usual table for Tony to come over with his lunch. They always met up for lunch, it was a nice break from training, science experiments, and being forced to try on Janet’s latest outfits. He was halfway through unwrapping his chicken wrap when Tony set down his tray. It was a salad, a _salad_ (and one of those gross kale smoothies, but seriously, Tony got a salad).

 

“Tony,” Steve started, slowly. Tony looked up at him already grinning, but he stopped at the look on Steve’s face. “Why did you get a salad?”

 

“What do you mean why?” Tony frowned at him, sitting down. He went to open his salad, but Steve stopped him by putting his hand over it. “Steve, what the hell? You’re the one who has been telling me to eat healthier.”

 

“Tony, there’s an E. Coli outbreak! What kind of lettuce is in there?” Steve demanded, glaring at Tony across the table.

 

Tony rolled his eyes, pulling his salad back from under Steve’s hands to look at the ingredients, “Uhh, romaine?”

 

“That’s the lettuce that’s the source of the outbreak!” Steve was practically shouting and Tony put his head in his hands. “It’s diseased lettuce, Tony!”

 

“Diseased lettuce, do you hear yourself? Steve, it’s fine,” Tony shook his head, going to open up the salad again. Steve pulled it out of his grip before he could get the lid off and Tony threw his arms up. “Seriously, Steve? I’m hungry. Baby come on, you got a wrap and those have lettuce.”

 

“How is it fine? And I asked for the wrap without lettuce. Specifically because of this outbreak,” Steve rolled his eyes at Tony this time, still holding onto his salad. “How did you not know about this? How can you not care? Do you _want_ E. Coli?”

 

“Are you seriously starting an argument about _lettuce_ right now? Typical,” Tony groaned, waving a hand at Steve and Steve narrowed his eyes back. “I was in the lab all day. And no, I don’t want E. Coli, Steve, thank you. But the odds are in my favor so give me my damn salad back.”

 

“I’m not risking you getting E. Coli just because you wanted a salad. How can you even know the odds when you just found out about the outbreak? And you’re the one starting the argument,” Steve grumbled. Tony just sighed, pulling out his phone and typing away.

 

“Look at this,” Tony said, shoving his phone in Steve’s face. “There’s been 13 cases of E. Coli linked to romaine lettuce. 13, in all of the United States and Canada. The odds are in my favor, so just let me eat my salad in peace.”

 

Steve pulled out his own phone in retaliation and Tony bit the inside of his cheek so he wouldn’t grin. Steve rolled his eyes at Tony when he started tapping his fingers on the table, impatiently waiting for Steve to finish looking up whatever he was looking up to bolster his own argument. This was so typical, Steve thought, a simple problem that could’ve been solved in a few seconds and Tony found a way to drag it out. Steve wasn’t backing down this time though, he was going to show Tony he was right.

 

“Okay, the CDC -- that’s Center for Disease Control, if you didn’t know, says that you shouldn’t eat any romaine lettuce, because they aren’t sure how many batches were contaminated or where the source is from,” Steve explained, scrolling through the article on his phone. Tony watched him, sipping on his smoothie and smiling at what a dorky mother hen his boyfriend was. “They also say you should throw out any you have, even if it’s in a mix, and to sanitize your fridge. So I’m checking your dorm room and we’re cleaning out your fridge.”

 

Tony scrunched his nose and pouted, “Steve, you’re taking this too far. I wanted a cute date night tonight.”

 

“Aw babe, what’s cuter than being on your hands and knees and scrubbing out the fridge?” Steve winked, stifling a laugh at Tony’s incredulous look. “So it’s settled then, you’re throwing the salad out.”

 

“I still think the odds are in my favor that I won’t get sick,” Tony picked a fry off Steve’s tray, popping it into his mouth. Steve just shook his head, knowing Tony was just trying to drag the argument out for the drama

 

“Tony, you’re not eating this,” Steve said with a tone of finality that made Tony roll his eyes and sigh. Steve knew he won this one. He got up, tucking the salad under his arm, and kissed Tony on the top of the head on his way to trash. He dropped the salad in and smiled at Tony. “There, right where it belongs.”

 

Tony snorted, but he was smiling back, “You’re such a dork, Rogers. You’re lucky I love you, I don’t know how I put up with you.”

 

“Well, if today is anything to go by, you’d be dead without me, babe,” Steve grinned and leaned down to kiss Tony on the lips. Tony groaned into the kiss and Steve laughed as he pulled away. “I love you too.”

 

“I’m still hungry you know,” Tony grinned up at Steve and Steve rolled his eyes. “You’re the reason I didn’t get to eat so I’m demanding that you buy me something new. Get me something good, babe.”

 

“Whatever you say, cupcake,” Steve grinned when Tony threw his straw wrapper at him and missed by a mile. He walked back across the cafeteria, trying to find something healthy but not contaminated for his boyfriend to eat.

 

\---

 

Later that evening, when they were both back in Tony’s dorm, Steve was leaning against the counter, snacking on some chips while he watched Tony as he kneeled on the floor to scrub at the bottom shelves at the fridge, cursing the entire time. It just so happened that an entire head of romaine lettuce had been in Tony’s fridge, going untouched for days, and a bunch of leaves had fallen down to the lower shelves.

 

“This isn’t fair,” Tony whined, voice muffled as he scrubbed viciously at the back corner of a shelf. “I swear you planned this.”

 

“Planned an E. Coli outbreak?” Steve grinned, watching Tony’s ass wiggle with his scrubbing motions. “As much as I appreciate you implying I am capable of planning something this elaborate, I had nothing to do with this. I wouldn’t risk people’s health. I think you missed a spot on the left.”

 

“Steve, you’re not even helping and I can _feel_ you staring at my ass,” Tony backed out and turned around, pointing a finger at Steve as he held onto the soapy washcloth. “You suck, Rogers.”

 

“If you clean faster, I just might,” Steve grinned, laughing loudly when Tony started scrubbing even faster.


End file.
